Stop  His Infidelity
By Genie Joseph, M.A.

Most women think that the number one reason men cheat is for sexual reasons.  While that is often the case if they are not getting satisfying sex at home, it is not the biggest reason men cheat.  You can stop his infidelity by getting to the core reason.

The number one reason men cheat is because they don’t feel valued at home.  If they are feeling belittled, judged, not respected, or ashamed, at home, they will gravitate to someone who smiles and giggles in their presence.  They have emotional needs as well as sexual needs, and if they are not getting either met at home, that is a formula for infidelity.

Men cheat to feel emotionally “charged” or adored by another woman.  In short, she appreciates him.  Men cannot last long in relationships where they feel devalued.  If they feel like a failure in your eyes, you are practically giving him his walking papers.  He will find someone who thinks he is awesome and wonderful, and is happy to see him walk through the door.

Think of the image of a man walking through the door of his home to be greeted by a loving dog who dances and licks, and wags his tail, and whimpers with joy to see him.  He wants the female equivalent of this experience when you see him. 

Not that you have to get on all fours and slobber him with wet kisses (although some might really enjoy that), but he wants to see that your face and your mood brighten simply because he is there!   He doesn’t really want to have to earn it!  He wants to get some kind of clear and obvious appreciation from you every day.  This is the best formula to stop his infidelity.

Don’t assume that your man knows how much you love and appreciate him.  You need to show him, tell him, and reassure him in ways that make sense to him.  If for some reason you are in a temporary sexual dry spell, this is a good time to let him know how much you adore him and appreciate him. 

Make sure you talk about the dry spell and not ignore it, especially if it is coming from your side of the bed.

Men need to feel that you are interested in them.  A man wants to know that you celebrate his little successes, and are interested in the details of his world.  If you are the first person he wants to tell important news to – good or bad news – that is a good sign. 

If you are the source of emotional enrichment, you have a strong foundation for preserving fidelity.  If that is not happening in your relationship, especially if it used to happen, this is a warning sign that he is drifting away from your emotional mooring.

About Sex

Not every couple is having sex every night.  But if you and your man are not on the same page about sex, and he feels frustrated, this is not something you want to ignore.  Even if for some reason you don’t want intercourse, you need to make sure he is satisfied and gratified by other means, such as oral sex or manual release. 

Not all men have the same needs for sex, and the only way to know what his needs are is to ask him.  If he isn’t comfortable talking about his needs (or lack of them) it may be time to get some counseling.  There are many reasons why sexual desire can dwindle, anything from fatigue, work stress, familiarity – the point is to discuss these issues as a couple and find ways to resolve them that work for both of you.

Remember, the best way to prevent a man from cheating is to be the source of fun and love in his life.  You need to be the one he wants to come home to because you adore him and care about his feelings and needs.  Let him know how important he is to you.  That is the best formula to stop his infidelity.

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